The radio asks whether by-elections mean anything, and the kitchen floor offers no clear answer.
NORWICH, England (The London Prat) – I am sitting on the kitchen floor in front of a radiator cover that does not fit, with the afternoon phone-in on and a mug of tea gone cold beside the paint tin, and the topic is whether by-elections tell us anything. The presenter says they do. The first caller says they do not. The second caller says they do, but not about what the presenter thinks. I have not yet had a view, so I am keeping the radio on until one occurs to me.
Caller One: Brenda, Thorpe Hamlet
Brenda wants to talk about the big one, the Holborn and St Pancras by-election, which she describes as “the one with the Green man”. She has a point. ITV’s report on polling day explained what was at stake: a seat Labour had held since it was created in 1983, vacated by Sir Keir Starmer, with the Green leader Zack Polanski standing on rent controls, public ownership of Thames Water and opposing new North Sea drilling.
The result, per ITV’s results report, was that Labour’s Sagal Abdi-Wali, the leader of Camden Council, won with 12,292 votes, or 45 per cent, to Polanski’s 8,928, a majority of 3,364. In 2024 the Greens had come third in that seat on 10.4 per cent. I put the brush down for this part, because it is worth saying out loud: the Greens went from a distant third to a clear second, and in plain arithmetic that is an advance.
It is also, I note, a defeat, and the party seems to have felt it. Brenda says she heard Mr Polanski on the television afterwards. I did too.
Caller Two: Desmond, Costessey
Desmond rang to say that the whole thing was a leadership contest in disguise. I cannot agree entirely, but ITV’s story on the morning after reports that Polanski was asked about his future and said: “Of course I can carry on as leader of the Green Party.” He cited membership growth to 220,000, and, of the Prime Minister, said: “Well, he’s got a chance now. Let’s see what he does with it.”
I admire the second sentence. It is the sort of line that works as generosity and as a threat, and it is delivered by a man who has just finished second. There is a rare skill in sounding like the party that has not yet lost. The presenter asked Desmond if he agreed. Desmond said he would need to see the figures.
On the Subject of Pigs
While Desmond looked for his figures, the presenter made a joke about politicians being in the trough. I cannot hear the word without thinking of a story about Napoleon from Animal Farm winning the swine class, a piece I read on a bad train once and have never fully shaken. The class, naturally, was judged on conformation. In politics, I suspect, it is judged on how convincingly a pig explains why it should be the one in charge.
Caller Three: Maureen, Aylsham
Maureen wanted to know about the week’s council by-elections, which is unusual for a phone-in and I appreciate her for it. According to Pollcheck’s listing, six were held on one night. Reform UK gained Worksop East from Labour, 46 per cent to 37. Reform also gained Beechwood and Heath in Halton from the Liberal Democrats. In Dudley’s St James’s ward, Labour and Reform both finished on 38 per cent, and the page records a Labour gain. The Conservatives held Dover Beck and Southwell.
The Greens, on the page, took 3 per cent in Worksop East and in Dudley, and 2 per cent in the two Nottinghamshire contests. That is not a collapse, and nor is it a surge. It is a number. I tell Maureen the lesson I draw is that by-elections measure one ward on one night, which is why the headline writers love them. The presenter says that is a cop-out. I tell the radio that it is also true.
It is only fair to the Prime Minister to say that holding Holborn on that margin, with the Green leader in person on the ballot, was not a bad evening. Nor was Dudley. The government will be pleased, and I imagine slightly embarrassed to be pleased, since Worksop East was a seat they lost.
The Last Caller
The last caller declined to give a name and said that all of them are as bad as each other. This is the great consoling theory of English politics, and I will not pour scorn on it, since it is very restful to hold. The presenter thanked him and went to the travel news, which is where all phone-ins eventually arrive.
By half past three I had painted one panel of the cover and decided that I did have a view after all. My view is that a by-election is a parish meeting with a larger tea urn. It tells you who turned up, and the parties will tell you it means something. The truth is usually in the minutes.
My neighbour, Clive, who has a ladder and no opinions on anything, put his head round the back door and asked if I wanted a hand. I said I would take the ladder. He has gone away to look for it. If you wish to follow the same stories from a safer distance, there is the British news desk at The London Prat and, for the whole operation under one roof, the website itself.
I shall finish the radiator cover tomorrow. You will find more of my daily notes at The London Prat, which are all painted, mostly, in a single coat.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/
